Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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