he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
