its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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