Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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