I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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