Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
