You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
