My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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