I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
