O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
