the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
