I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
