so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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