The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
