It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
