Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
