Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
