yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
