i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Randomize
