Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
