the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize