omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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