i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
He did a backflip because drugs
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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