I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
