I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
