I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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