Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
