Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
how does that bad decision feel?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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