Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I think I sprained my soul last night
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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