yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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