i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Randomize
