You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
