wrigley field is MILF paradise
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
