new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Randomize
