i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
