i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
