Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
they need to just BURY HIM!
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
