Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
