Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Randomize
