You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
