Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize