CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
