youre lurking in front of me
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
