You can't motorboat a personality
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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