It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
