Will you blow on my dice?
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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