the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
