I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
