Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
