Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Randomize
