Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
