if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
