it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize
