Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
