So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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