You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
