Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
