Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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