fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize