We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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