i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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